7 ways to break patterns and resolve generational pain
Generational pain comes from seeds of trauma that are sown and repeated, sown and repeated, generation by generation, by generation, over time.
Although these seeds are sown unwillingly, unwittingly, and unconsciously—often in the form of micro-traumas, or even major traumas—often these persist in the form of repeated patterns, for generations. They are inherited, passed along, and repeated within a family framework.
These seeds could take many forms, and often show up as patterns of abuse, criticism, fears, beliefs, attitudes, physical attributes, behaviors, and even diseases.
You've probably heard somebody say, "I can't believe I said that. I sound just like my mother." So, sometimes even the conditioning we receive and the way that we relate in the day to day world is learned from our family.
Similar to other patterns, these generational patterns can be broken, but that is often challenging because these are learned and absorbed by a family, perhaps being present and passed down from ancestors back as far as even 6, 7, or 8 previous generations.
This is one reason there's a lot going on in families when it comes to healing!
Yes, there is hope! You can start to break the patterns now, starting with you.
One of the best things you could possibly do for your family is to start to release and reverse those patterns, starting with yourself. By mending and releasing what may even be ancient seeds by this point, you create space that can powerfully move the energy forward in your whole family. From this standpoint, anyone can take action to resolve, heal, and move their family beyond generations of pain and trauma.
Often, it’s emotional pain that we repeat and pass on. For instance, if you’ve experienced withholding of love from a mother, it might be challenging should you become a mother yourself, to avoid what you know, which is a withholding of love, without even realizing that's what might be happening. Some of this generational suffering, due to its cyclical nature, is actually accumulated family karma. Uh oh, I did say karma. Eek!
But don’t worry, karma is nothing to be afraid of. It’s just a pattern. When you notice the pattern and you make a different choice, you can begin to reverse karma, simply by stopping generating the negative kind, and/or generating the positive kind. And there are lots of ways to do that.
We want to be able to reverse and move past these patterns, so we can be free and we can free our families, too.
What's the best way for us to actually move forward and release this generational pain?
The only way to break a pattern is by doing something new. Here are 7 ways to create new patterns to free yourself and your family.
Forgiveness is a highly powerful way to neutralize negative karma.
Although I'm not suggesting that it's easy at first, the simplest action to heal generational pain, wounds and patterns, is forgiveness.
Forgiveness is something that can be private to you, and it can take place in your mind and imagination. The person you’re forgiving need not know you’re forgiving them. But by sharing forgiveness simply on a mental, emotional level—even if you’re not verbalizing your forgiveness—energetically, it makes an impact. I find it’s easiest to do this work of forgiveness mentally, with the intention that it reaches the other person. Sometimes, not communicating with the person you’re forgiving is preferable, because saying something could open the door to unwanted or necessary developments.
Forgiveness is so, so, so important, because unless we forgive, we just keep repeating the deficit.
2. Self-development is my favorite way to reverse generational traumas.
When you take responsibility for your life and stop blaming others, you become a free person who is capable of healing, self-actualizing, and fulfilling your purpose. You inherit more of your choosing, less of the expected or status quo.
Through working on yourself, you inhabit your own life in a much different, much more powerful way. Even though forgiveness is fabulous, if you can forgive alongside developing your own self, you can remember who you are, step into your worthiness, and activate your gifts. Only you can do that, and it enables you to move forward. No one else will prioritize your healing and your self-actualization.
3. Take a step back.
When you can recognize that the parts of you that are in pain or perhaps even broken don’t define you, you can separate yourself from the pain and see what your High Self sees: sometimes the most powerful way out is by going through. By taking a deep breath and looking at things beyond the Personality, like your High Self does, often you’ll notice that there may be (or was) a gift that revealed itself and propelled you forward into the next important version of yourself. Perhaps that wouldn’t have been possible without the pain.
In a way, that could be heartbreaking, but if you can look at things from a distance, you can see you may have chosen generational pain or patterns in these situations on a Soul level, because without these lessons and experiences, we couldn’t move forward. When you work on yourself, and see that nothing went wrong on a Soul level, you change the energy entirely. When you accept what has happened and stop playing the victim or the blame game, you can break that cycle of needing to “pass on” the pain.
4. Pay it forward by blessing or serving.
When you think about good things coming through you, to you, and through you—out, toward the earth, toward other people, toward your family, toward anything that you would like to heal—these are all examples of goodwill. Gestures of goodwill are powerful ways to help break patterns, because when you are generous, there's no pain involved. In fact, it’s the opposite. When you share from a place of generosity, serve, or give, often you also feel good while knowing you’re making an impact. You’re creating positive karma from this place.
5. Be financially generous and mean it.
By tithing, becoming a sponsor, or donating, or even giving somebody $20 who is hungry, absent of fear anxiety, regret, or resentment, you're actually paying it forward, literally. By sharing your gifts of abundance with an open heart, you help neutralize collective and negative karma. You show the universe that you are trustworthy with gifts, because those that come to you will be shared and create space for more to come in. The impact over time is multiplication. Financial generosity, particularly when repeated, also does a lot to break the cycles of generational pain. You’re neutralizing not just your karma, but that of those who are closely affiliated such as family. When you give out of fear, regret, or resentment, the net effect isn’t the same.
6. Be thankful for whatever shows up.
When you show gratitude for the situations that you've created and the circumstances that you've chosen—maybe not even consciously, but on a Soul level—you recognize you are on a pathway and this moment isn’t forever. You are a Being who has come to Earth to learn and evolve and to move forward.
7. Be gentler with yourself.
You can help your family faster and more efficiently by focusing on your own healing first.
You cannot heal your family until you are healed. And when you do heal, you are already doing loads of good for your family, your Soul group, and humanity. As a member of your soul group, who is awake and conscious and working on it, means that your healing helps everybody around you in a really, really powerful way.
This may be new information for you. Often your waking consciousness--your Personality Self--is not aware of what is beyond your senses, emotions, logic, conditioning, and influences from the outside world. In QHHT, we are working with both the Personality Self and the Higher Self, which is the part of your deeper consciousness that knows everything about you and has the ability to not just this lifetime, but all of the other lifetimes you have lived. From that Higher Self perspective, you can more easily see the plan, your purpose, and a different perspective on the choices that you’ve made in coming into your current body, your current lifetime.
These are just a couple of ways that you can understand more about your family and what you can do to help release you and your family from collective shared karma and other types of generational pain.
I hope sharing this information has been helpful. As founder of Quantum Healing Miami and a Certified Level 2 QHHT Practitioner, I’d love to help you find the answers that can help you move forward in your life.
What are your questions about past lives, Soul groups, about your family’s role in your life, hypnosis or QHHT? Please feel free to reach out to me anytime here or here.
Until then, remember: You are beautiful. You are powerful. You are amazing. Thanks for stopping by.