The real reason you want to leave your job? It’s not what you think it is
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“Should I leave my job?”
This is a question that almost all of my clients bring up at some point or another during the life interview portion of their QHHT session.
It’s a powerful question because there's a lot behind it, and riding on it, all at once. Let’s unpack a bit more about why people ask this question, and then what are typically the reasons behind asking the question. Obviously, a job is a framework that provides us with the very basic things in life.
There are four basic things that we seek from a job, or that a job enables us to do:
Structure.
If you have a job, you have: a place to be, you have tasks to do, you have people that you're supporting.
Financial stability.
A job provides you with a paycheck. It's giving you pay for the services you’re providing, and pay is something that is needed, especially if you rely on a steady paycheck.
Social interaction.
A job gives you the platform to create something together with others, that you can't create by yourself. Whether it’s projects or breakroom small talk, a job is a natural container to intersect with people you wouldn’t meet otherwise, to work in a team, and really realize something together.
A pathway to self-expression and fulfillment.
This is so, so, so important! It’s the reason most people want to leave a job if they don’t find it there. And yet, often, reasons 1, 2, and 3 above are what our society teaches us are appropriate and natural, and should be the reasons that we work at all—structure, stability and working with other people in a team.
But here’s the real truth:
#4 is the reason why you stay in unhappy situations when it comes to work, because our culture doesn’t look at fulfilling your life purpose as a "necessary" part of job satisfaction.
Especially in our Western capitalist society, the expectation is that your “doing” takes priority over the “being.” For most employers, they pay you because they expect your work, for them, is about doing, isn’t it? Hustle, hustle, hustle, work, work, work. This is where toxic work cultures take shape and churn out burnout as whole industries.
And this perspective also looks at you and makes a value judgment on you.
“So what do you mean, you’re not happy? You've got structure, stability and social interaction. What’s wrong with you, that you also want to express yourself and feel fulfilled? How can you ‘have it all’ on paper and actually be unhappy?”
But at a certain point, self-expression and fulfillment become the sore thumb that you wake up with every day, that you can live with, but you’re always aware of the pain in the background, and it doesn't go away.
There's something in you that really knows there's a misalignment there because the pain never subsides. It gets your attention and it remains vigilantly in the background of every day of your work. It's very unfortunate, but it is a reality.
But this is also super common. Almost 100% of people, underneath what they tell you, are unhappy with their job.
And if everyone's a little bit unsatisfied with their job, is it possible that a job (or at least this particular job) is not the only pathway to fulfilling your life purpose?
What that thinking opens up, is an entirely new question: What could I do, that is aligned with my purpose?
After a lifetime of looking only at reasons 1-3, it can feel very disruptive—subversive, even—to consider building your work around #4 first.
But going for #1-3 first, is what stops people from doing what they actually came here to do: self-actualize and fulfill their purpose.
I believe you always know inside yourself whether there's a misalignment with your work. Often, when people come to QHHT asking this question, it’s because they want reaffirmation that they're OK—either OK sticking with something that isn’t working, or OK to make a change.
Or they want a little nudge letting them know it's OK to go toward what is really calling them.
So why do you seek reassurance on this subject?
Because of fear. Fear shuts down possibilities faster than any other force in the universe.
The unknown lurks beneath this question: "If I do quit my job, what's on the other side of that?"
And often, again, the disruption of making a change means not knowing how it's going to be, what it will look like, how it will feel, or the most basic—where’s my money going to come from?
All of these considerations are speed bumps. Fears that stop us from making that choice.
As we said earlier, societally, it’s expected that you do something that "looks good on paper." If you make the choice to quit that thing that looks good on paper, it’s natural you may be worried about being judged, shunned or criticize you, or maybe even you’re afraid that you’ll be out there in front of people, showing them you’ve "failed."
(That is the #1 fear that clients bring to QHHT, by the way: the fear of being who they are, making choices that are right for them, and fearing those choices will look bad or disappoint others, who, it turns out, have their own identical fears).
Of course there's a lot at stake on the other side of a decision about a job, and it’s not just about your purpose and fulfillment, but also how it looks…out there.
So, a lot of us get stopped by the fear, stay safe in what is known, even though we’re doing the thing that we know is not fulfilling us, because also we don't want to be judged and we don't want to deal with that fallout, and tackling all of that just seems hard, right? It seems hard to face that kind of ambiguity and not knowing what will happen, if you’ll be safe and judgment-from-others-free.
The second reason that people stay in jobs that are not working for them—that are not serving fulfillment toward their higher purpose—is that they're actually trying to learn something about themselves and they're looking to the job, and the stability, and all of the reasons we talked about, expecting to find that there at work.
And in reality, they're actually not right for that job because they're in a holding pattern, not developing and growing as people.
I love it when clients have a series of jobs that aren't working out, because that was my own experience, and it led me to realize what was right for me. It felt terrifying, but right, and I’ve never looked back.
So, when you hit a series of red lights at a succession of jobs—and it doesn’t matter if they’re caused by internal or external factors—it's a good idea to look inside and say, "Is there something in me that is asking to grow? And I'm making it about the job, but what is actually stuck, is me?"
Tackling our own stuff is another aspect of this that carries ambiguity, risk, and fear, perhaps, and potential disruption on the other side of that question.
So, if you're not where you want to be with your job is, the two questions you want to ask yourself are:
Is the fulfillment not there because I know I'm on the wrong track, I know I'm not in the right role? (Which, again, can be disruptive. And you know, your High Self usually knows that you know).
Am I actually avoiding changing myself, and looking to the job to fix the thing about me, that I now need to learn in order to move forward?
It's easy to substitute one for the other. And deciding to look under the microscope can be so very surprising and rewarding. That’s typically when you’re actually ready to make change: you know you want a change, and you’re willing to do whatever it takes—even if it means going into the unknown—because you can’t help but move forward.
This is usually the point at which clients come to me for a QHHT session. And it’s always delicious what they discover by speaking with their High Self about it, because the High Self always has a perspective far beyond the fears held by the Personality Self point of view. What more perfect way is there to see that very much bigger picture than to dialogue with the part of you that never forgets why you chose this lifetime?
That’s why work challenges continue to be my favorite reasons clients come for QHHT. And I can totally relate! The reason I’m doing QHHT and sharing about my life and experiences and doing this work publicly is that my own High Self told me it was time, and spiritual work was my destiny, it was time to stop hiding. So here I am!
I’d be excited to meet you and help you with your work and life questions through QHHT.
This may be new information for you. Often your waking consciousness--your Personality Self--is not aware of what is beyond your senses, emotions, logic, conditioning, and influences from the outside world. In QHHT, we are working with both the Personality Self and the Higher Self, which is the part of your deeper consciousness that knows everything about you and has the ability to not just this lifetime, but all of the other lifetimes you have lived. From that Higher Self perspective, you can more easily see the plan, your purpose, and a different perspective on the choices that you’ve made in coming into your current body, your current lifetime.
These are just a couple of ways that you can understand more about work, jobs, your purpose, and how to see things in a different way—the way that your High Self sees them.
I hope sharing this information has been helpful. As founder of Quantum Healing Miami and a Certified Level 2 QHHT Practitioner, I’d love to help you find the answers that can help you move forward in your life.
What are your questions about past lives, Soul groups, about your family’s role in your life, hypnosis or QHHT? Please feel free to reach out to me anytime here or here.
Until then, remember: You are beautiful. You are powerful. You are amazing. Thanks for stopping by.